Highlights of My Week

1. Invented a game called, “Lets see how short of a fuse I have when the fucker at work who clacks his teeth while he eats wants something from me.”

2. Answered the game’s question… pretty short.

3. Just before lunch my stomach rumbled for so long that rather than acknowledging it, I just ignored it and let it rumble away.

4. Totally pulled the Empire Strikes Back Han Solo when I got inquisitive looks about said tummy rumble by nodding at inquisitors and adding the cool-as-shit line, “I know.” 

5. Decided I’m not so much awkward as just really really good at keeping how cool I am a secret.

6. Skipped out on bar night for a presentation about how God and alcohol don’t mix.

7. Went home afterwords and did a little presentation of my own where I mixed every type of alcohol available and called the drink “God”… Actually “God” mixes pretty well.

8. Argued with a Libertarian whether government serves a purpose. 

9. Got pissed off and “taxed” the Libertarian by pointing a gun in his face and taking his wallet. 

10. Beer and pizza. ‘Nuf said.