Highlights of My Week… Yep its back.

1. Got pissed off in a coffee shop because apparently the old rule of thumb “If i can smell you coming, its too much perfume” no longer applies.
2. Decided that gay guys either dress stylishly or like rodeo clowns with feathered hats. ( …or is poultry “in?” )
3. Decided T9 never wants me to send a strongly worded text message as it replaces “fuck” with “duck,” transforming the previously harsh text into a harmless and adorable text.
4. Realized that Americans do care about the World Cup but lose interest because the United States never gets past the first round.
5. Pined for golf to be the next sport infected by the vulvuzela.
6. After a prolonged tickle fight, realized that tickling is nothing more than a passive-aggressive technique to suffocate someone.
7. Counted out loud the number of times the undereducated waiter at Red Robbin passed by my empty glass of coke.
8. Invented a surprisingly satisfying game called, “No tip for asshole waiters who pass by my oh-so-wonderfully-thirst-quenching glass of ice.”
9. Got pulled over by three cops on the way home from Boise for a busted tail light.
10. In a related incident… began brainstorming witty responses for “Do you know why I pulled you over?”